Top 10 Songs for December 21, 2012

Okay, before planet Earth is thrown into a giant, gaping, solar black hole, or before earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanic eruptions, and hurricanes all fall down on us at once, or before Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber reveal themselves as the Anti-Christess and the Anti-Christ, I figured a blog post about a playlist with music referencing the end of the world would be fitting.

These songs all lyrically discuss the end of the world in some way, shape, or form, but none of them do so in a very depressing manor; which makes them kind of fun to listen to.  I have YouTube videos attached to each one of them so while you are partying your asses off tomorrow night, you will have a playlist to at least say you checked out before it's all over.

**RATIONAL DISCLAIMER** Just for the people on Doomsday Preppers, Mayan decedents, John Cusack, or any other goofball who actually thinks Friday is the end of the world: I'M KIDDING.  If I actually believed in this crap then anything I have ever said about my belief system is a lie.  Let's just make one thing crystal clear, for a brief moment: the people who predicted this day (the Mayans) cannibalized each other to death centuries ago.  The only people left with any relation are distant relatives.  Are you really going to trust a bunch of dope smoking cannibals?  C'mon, man.

With that "rational disclaimer" out of the way, now we can get back to the fun stuff.  You know, pretending.  Here are some songs I think you should play during your End of the World Party tomorrow night.  Some you'll enjoy, some you won't, but it doesn't matter much to me because on Friday all technology will be reduced to ruble and we'll have to live like Viggo Mortensen and his kid did in The Road (what a shitty movie).  Here you go:

1.  R.E.M. - "It's the End of the World as We Know It," Document

2.  The Suicide Machines - "It's the End of the World as We Know It" (R.E.M. cover), Steal this  Record

3.  Thrice - "The Sky is Falling," The Alchemy Index Volume 3: Air

4.  Dave Matthews Band - "When the World Ends," Everyday   

5.  Bad Religion - "Fuck Armageddon...This is Hell," ...How Could Hell Be Any Worse?

6.  The Clash - "London Calling," London Calling

7.  Prince - "1999," 1999

8.  Goldfinger - "99 Red Balloons," Stomping Ground 

9.  Morrissey - "Everyday is Like Sunday," Viva Hate

10.  Johnny Cash - "When the Man Comes Around," American IV: The Man Comes Around

What Now?

In the wake of the tragedy that took place at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut on Friday, December 14th, almost every conversation I have had has ended in the question, "what now?"

I do not think two words have ever been put together so easily and have caused such complex, different, and endless reaction.  What.  Now.  Does anyone have the right answer?  What is the right thing to do?  I think the word "right" in a situation like this is so difficult to use because this tragedy comes down on everyone.  Not everyone was immediately effected as traumatically as those Newtown families and residents were, but everyone knows that could have been any elementary school, any group of children, any friend... this comes down on all of us because most recognize how lucky we are it did not happen in our community.

So what is "right" if not everyone agrees on the same thing?  The aftermath of this scenario leaves people in the trenches because everyone wants to be happy.  Everyone wants to be "right."  There are the liberals who want gun-free zones and wish for schools to be safe havens for children to learn and grow.  Then there are the NRA members who think if more schools had guns, attackers would have a more difficult time creating a massacre such as the one in Newtown.  Oh, and don't forget the people in the middle, who cannot seem to decide what should be done; who like the ideas of the Constitution, but understand some changes need to be made to make this Nation a better place.  Some blame the media.  Some blame the parents.  All in all the Nation has countless points of view, all looking for their own solution to come to fruition.  So, as I have asked, what is the "right" one?  What now?

Well, I just do not think it is that simple.  That is, doing what is "right."  I mean, does a policeman do what's right in giving a man who only makes $30,000 a $700 speeding ticket?  Does a parent do what's right when they don't let their kid see Toy Story 3 because they have yet to clean up their room?  Does a sports league do what's right when they stop selling beer in the 7th inning or 4th quarter?  As odd or goofy as these scenarios may seem, no one is doing what is "right," they are doing what needs to be done to keep things civil.  Doing what is morally expected.  Doing the best we can, as a community, from preventing any wrong from happening.  Some effect for the cause, as it were.

So, will Barack Obama be doing what is "right" when he places a ban on all assault rifles - as we did in the 90s - and lowers gun ownership to 1 per household?  Not by the NRA, not by gun owners, and not be peaceful apathetics, but these weapons are not used to hunt deer.  Plain and simple.  This situation is not about doing what is right, it is about preventing wrong.  What happened in Newtown, CT was pure evil.  Of course, the government cannot stop violent people from going out and buying guns illegally.  Obama can't promise another tragedy like Sandy Hook won't happen again, but that does not mean we, as a people, do not have to try.  We have a responsibility to our children, we have a responsibility to ourselves.  As he so powerfully said on Sunday night:

We can’t tolerate this anymore.  These tragedies must end.  And to end them, we must change.  We will be told that the causes of such violence are complex, and that is true.  No single law — no set of laws can eliminate evil from the world, or prevent every senseless act of violence in our society.  But that can’t be an excuse for inaction.  Surely, we can do better than this.

I expect to see some significant change with gun control.  I expect President Obama to do his very best to work with gun groups and gun-free believers alike to explain what actions need to be taken and what laws must be put in place in order to keep our children, and our communities as a whole, safe.  Again, it is not about what is "right," because everyone thinks they are.  This is about better peace of mind.  This is about lesser graves.  What now?  Insanity, by definition, is "doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome."  Well, wrong is wrong, and it will happen on it's own in scary, terrifying ways at times, but we do not have to sit idly by.  Strive to do good, work to make it better. 

In (My) Musical History: Bands I Should Have Found, but Missed.

Does this not just suck when it happens?  You are in your car driving with a friend, they take a stab playing their iPod, and you dig the song that is on.  Just as this wonderful 3:30 minutes (give or take) is up, you ask, "was that a new band?"  Your friend, almost angry at the question, replies, "No way, they were big earlier this decade."  Or the nineties.  Or the fucking eighties.  Whenever.  The band either broke up, a majority of the members died, or they just are not making music.  Such a bummer.

Or, how about this scenario.  You are out on a Friday night at a club in San Francisco, ready to see one of your favorite bands headline the bill with an hour and a half of some of your most emotionally invested tunes. However, like the good live fan you are, you arrive early to check out the opening acts on the bill to see if any of them can play a lick.  The first band is kind of a shitty, AFI knock off you have heard countless times; no big deal.  You go to grab a brew and when you come back the second act comes on and goes on a small rant about how the headliners "used to actually open for them, but now that we're old and touring for fun, we come out and support our younger pals."  This "warm-up" in fact inspired the band you came to see and you did not know who they were.  And they rock.  Your lack of knowledge for this band does not make you a bad music fan, but you wish they came up on Pandora, or iTunes, or even fell out of the record pile at Streetlight Records in San Jose.

Well, as I am sure you have already guessed, both of these scenarios have happened to me.  More than once.  On several occasions.  And while it first bothered me, I have come to enjoy these little surprises from time to time.  Finding that new, but actually old, band that has already experienced the apex of their career makes me know that I am one of the few (even though few many mean thousands in this case) listening to this band and learning more about them, as much as they may be currently fading away.  So, I thought it would be cool to write a post on three of these scenarios... um, er... bands.  The stories of how I found them are not the coolest, but the fact I found them is cool... to me, at least.  Because when you find a band like you do in the first case - in a car, knowing none of their songs with no chance to see them live - sometimes magical musical tour date moments fall into place and you actually get to see them live.  Or the old band that influenced your favorite band that you wish you knew about 8 years ago?  They could lead you to a band on the rise today, right now, and you never would have known that before.

The moral of this post?  Do not pass up on listening to music, genres, or simply bands that are past their prime, out of date, or "not popular" anymore.  All of that is bullshit in my view.  Stay true to the stuff you like - yes, even robot farts - because you never knew what it could lead to.  I have found some of the coolest music on complete accident and it is some of my favorite today.  Even though it was made earlier this decade.  Or the nineties.  Or the fucking eighties.  Whenever.  Some of these you may have gotten to before I do, but I don't care. Here are 4 bands I should have found, I ended up missing, but still have the chance to follow, support, and love.

1.  American Steel
These guys are actually kind of the reason I wrote this entire post.  When I was seeing my favorite band, Alkaline Trio, for about the 7th time with my buddy Stoye, there were a couple of opening bands before, per usual.  We always get there early, we always rock out, but not always do we find a band that is actually older than the headliners.  American Steel came on and tore up the stage.  Playing what I learned to be classics such "Every New Morning," "Whiskey, Women, and Black-guarding," and "Shrapnel," American Steel caught my attention from the first note.  What I learned a few months later?  They had already broke up, gotten back together, broken up, and reformed once again.  These guys were originally from Oakland and had been in the punk scene since '94.  Dueling guitars, whiskey-whipped voices, and pounding drums, American Steel have the grit and emotion I love in rock-n-roll; one of my favorite bands currently.

2.  The Smoking Popes
Again, the Popes are pretty much the second half to this post; the band that opened for a band they used to take out on tour.  And again, it was all brought to my attention at another Alkaline Trio show with Stoye (we've seen them a lot).  I had heard of the name The Smoking Popes and always admired the un-godly ring to it, but never had really listened to a couple snippets on an iTunes preview.  They opened up for the Trio and basically gave the "yeah, we 're old as hell and used to get Alkaline Trio too wasted before they had to play back in the '90s."  Once the Trio came on, they threw all kidding aside and sited the Popes as one of the most influential bands for not only them, but for the Chicago punk scene in general.  A band that inspired arguably my favorite band and an entire scene I like?  I'm in.  Now, all this credibility is not what sold me on the Popes or made me like them.  That would be lame.  However, I cannot deny that all of it got me interested.  The music always does the rest.  Go and listen to "It's a Punk Thing... You Wouldn't Understand," and enjoy what you missed, as I did.

3.  H2O
Just like The Smoking Popes, I found H2O when they were opening up for the Dropkick Murphy's on the "All Roads Lead to St. Patrick's Day Tour."  H2O is a hardcore band from the Lower East Side and have a totally bad ass mentality to them.  Lead singer Toby Morse leads a band of straight-edge musicians who sing about the fatal nature of substance abuse, protecting one's family, and life on the tough streets of the LES.  While I definitely do not partake in the straight-edge movement, I respect people who can do so without throwing it up in my face as if I am a bad person.  These guys have made a lifestyle choice and it is one they have continued to live and follow closely.  What is even cooler, though, when I found H2O for the first time they had not put out an album in 7 years.  They were old, past their prime, grandfathers of the hardcore scene.  Yet, they came out, told stories about Dropkick in their younger days and rocked the San Francisco Warfield.  Their most recent album, Nothing to Prove, came out a few weeks after I saw them life and their youthful nature allows them to continue to tour and make music.  Yeah, I missed my chance to see them headline, but now I know they're still out their doing the damn thing.  That makes me happy.

4.  A Tribe Called Quest
Okay, let's take a break for a second, step away from the mosh pit, and talk about a band we missed on, but eventually found thanks to an irie session with a buddy, that girl with the funky t-shirt on in math class, and the older cousin who always said "ZULU NATION" at Christmas time and never, ever told your grandmother what he was talking about.  A Tribe Called Quest would be number one on this list if it was done in order because this is a band I missed during their prime, found when I was older, and can see the amount of influence these guys had on the entire hip-hop scene, sound, culture, and popularity.  Tribe came up from Linden Boulevard in New York and between Q-Tip and Phife Dawg genius lyrics were composed, beats were produced from the sounds of early jazz, and the idea that all hip-hop was negative or "gangster" was turned on it's head and forever changed.  They inspired everyone, even artists outside of hip-hop.  True.  Diggy-dang-diggy-dang-da-dang-da-dang-diggy.  You already know what I'm talking about.  This is without a doubt my favorite hip-hop duo and one of the best groups I found after they had already experienced a successful prime.  No, I did not listen to them much in high school and I still feel bad about that.  However, I have made up for it in due time, my readers.  Truth be told, I did not start slapping these guys until I saw my friend Mohit's shirt and went to look up what the hell "A Tribe Called Quest" was.  In due time I've caught up, indeed.  Go eargasm to "Check the Rhyme," "Buggin' Out," "Bonita Applebum," and every single other song Tribe has dropped, please.

So there are my 4, yo.  What bands have you missed, but still love?  What artists inspired your currently favorite artists?  Isn't music just the best?

Nirvana Reuniting at the 12.12.12 Concert: 5 Better Options Than Paul McCartney as Lead Singer

As I woke up on this rainy Wednesday morning, I started it just like any other day.  Got out of bed, took my morning deuce, shaved my nasty neck hair, and enjoyed a hot, pressurized shower.  I did not set the fire alarm off in my apartment, though, so I thought today was going to be extra special.  As I trailed down Highway 101 on my way to work, I was bouncing back and forth between my iPod and talk radio, as usual. Again, nothing different.  Today was shaping up to be just another Wednesday, or "hump day," as I so lovingly refer to it.  Once I got to the office, I toasted an everything bagel (by the way, when I think of everything, I expect irie to be in it, so maybe they should change that) and opened up my computer ready to take in the morning news.

North Korea launched a missile into Earth's orbit last night, major union setbacks took place in Michigan yesterday, and Paul McCartney is going front the reunited Nirvana at the 12.12.12 Concert tonight.  Wait... what?  I can deal with the cray-cray North Koreans and Union workers will align and restore order, but the bassist (and arguably third coolest member of The Beatles) is taking the place of Kurt Cobain for a one night special event?  When I saw my buddy Stoye tweet about it I was a total non-believer.  But, sure as shit, Stoye was right, or at least the rumors were beginning to swirl and it was not coming from a TMZ gossip blog.  My main music blog www.pigeonsandplanes.com had updated some information on it and when I saw a couple local New York publications name drop Sir Paul and Dave Grohl jamming with former Nirvana bassist Krist Novoselic and former Nirvana guitarist/current Foo Fighters guitarist Pat Shmeer, I was in shock.  Now, each rumor I have heard has also been accompanied with a statement along the lines of "Paul and Nirvana won't be playing any of Kurt's classics, but rather a new song recently composed through jam sessions."  Oh, I feel so much better... NAAAAT!

Listen, I do not give a shit if Paul McCartney and Nirvana sat down and played Beethoven's 9th Symphony - it would not cut it.  Do not get me wrong, The Beatles are some of the best to ever do it, but this is just not right.  Everything The Beatles stood for: fame, women, musical technicality, top of the pops rock went and goes against everything Kurt Cobain and Nirvana set out to do.  In fact, as much of The Beatles probably inspired the men of Nirvana at a young age, my bet is by the time those boys were 18 and looking for a ride out of suburbia and a case of beer, all they wanted to do was destroy the ideals created by that 60s free love and jam session bullshit.  It is a rough way of looking it, but in the end it is probably true.  I know Dave Grohl has great visions for grandiose rock performances (Foo Fighters jamming with Led Zeppelin,  Grohl doing performing with Motorhead), but I think this is taking it too far.  The first, and probably only, reunion performance Nirvana will EVER have is purportedly going to be with Paul McCartney (who also led the travesty band, Wings)?  No, no, no.  This is just not right.

So, now that all the bitching is over, I would like to present to you the 5 singers I would have put in front of Paul McCartney.  I did not pick these because I think any one of them are more famous or more influential than Sir Paul, even though that might be true.  I picked them because they would encapsulate the essence of Nirvana so much better than any Beatles member could ever do, minus Lennon.  Melodic voices, smooth harmonies, and touching lyrics are what Paul McCartney does best and the snarling voice, distorted guitars, and painfully bleak and honest lyrics of Kurt Cobain are what should be represented.  I feel these 5 would have done a better job.

5.  Chris Cornell - Soundgarden, Audioslave, Temple of the Dog
A local Seattle grunger who came up around the same time as Kurt, Chris Cornell experienced a wide array of musical success with his first band Soundgarden, his Rage Against the Machine mega-group Audioslave, and a acoustic solo career.  Cornell may have been the "pretty voice" of the grunge scene, but at least he had an appreciation of what happened during that time.  You see, Seattle grunge was more about the music, it was the life all of the artists lived together underground.

4.  Michael Stipe - R.E.M.
This is probably my wackiest choice, but Stipe is a perfect middle ground selection between McCartney and Kurt.  With songs like "Everybody Hurts," "Losing My Religion," and "Man on the Moon," Stipe and R.E.M. are famous enough to recognized at a concert such as 12.12.12.  Cobain has actually stated R.E.M. as a major influence and favorite band, as well.  Of course, Cobain loved The Beatles, but R.E.M. became very well known right before the Seattle grunge scene took off.  Stipe, while a alternative-pop rocker, sings with true conviction with lyrical content along the same lines of Nirvana's work: life, loss, religion, equality, and the pursuit to find green grass on the other side.

3.  Lemmy Kilmister - Motorhead
Who would not want to see the lead singer of fuckin' Motorhead team up with the musicians of Nirvana?  Like I said, Lemmy and Grohl have played together and are good drinking buddies, so the connection is already there.  Lemmy sings with such a reckless abandon, as well, that he could probably get away with singing a classic Nirvana song such as "Sliver" or "Rape Me."  Seeing Lemmy at the 12.12.12 concert in those famous boots, wearing that cowboy hat of his, and swigging from a bottle of Jack would be a sight for sore eyes; one I think every grunge/punk/rock fan would appreciate... Kurt would be smiling down on the evening.  Beiber fans, not so much.

2.  Eddie Vedder - Pearl Jam, Temple of the Dog
Now, I know what you Nirvana die-hards are thinking: Fuck Eddie Vedder and Fuck Pearl Jam.  Many grungers believe PJ's 20 year career is responsible for breaking grunge into mainstream and site the disdain Kurt had for Eddie at one point.  That all might be true, but fact of the matter is, grunge and punk broke at the beginning/middle of the 90s and that was not Pearl Jam's fault (it was not The Offspring's, Green Day's, or Rancid's fault either, the music is fucking good), it was inevitable.  Also, Kurt and Eddie reconciled right before Kurt tragically took his own life, so people can drop the drama that Kurt hated Eddie until his dying day.  That is not true.  Eddie Vedder has carried the grunge spirit to new heights and I would have loved to see him pose as the Nirvana singer for one night and one night only.

1.  Neil Young - Neil Young and Crazy Horse, Pearl Jam, titled "The Godfather of Grunge"
This has got to be the coolest and most obvious choice of them all.  I mean, Neil Young is the "Godfather of Grunge," for Christ's sake.  Neil Young and Crazy Horse are probably the single most important band to influence the grunge scene not only musically, but by image (flannel shirts), ideals (hippies with an edge), and overall human belief (we're in this together).  Neil even tried to reach out Kurt before his suicide, letting him know that everyone in the scene, and across rock music, was there for him.  Mr. Young has filled in for Eddie Vedder as the front-man for Pearl Jam, why not let Neil take over for Nirvana at the 12.12.12 concert?  They would do a great rendition of Neil Young's "Fuckin' Up."  Again, like Lemmy, Neil and Dave Grohl have a great friendship, the Foo Fighters having played Neil's Bridge School Benefit countless times.

So, there are my 5 musicians that I think would have been a better selection than Paul McCartney.  Is Paul going to do fine?  Sure.  Is he the right guy for the job?  I think not.  Let me know what you think.  Or if you even care.

So Long Fantasy Football, I Have Outgrown You

Okay, this blog is really starting to cramp my credibility.  Just nine short months after I completely ripped into Angel Pagan's chest and tore out his heart, metaphorically, I have to say that for legal purposes, he goes on to help our beloved San Francisco Giants win a second World Series in three years and we resign him.  Of course, I praise the signing, noting that I will be forever indebted to "El Cabello Loco," taking back nearly everything I said about him in my rip-roaring rant, Angel Pagan or Devil Pagan?

Now, Morty's Corner forces me to look back on foul tongue once again.  Four months ago I got online with a few friends of mine, ordered a slice of pizza, cracked some PBRs with Lump and Stoye, and got down to selecting my 2012 Fantasy Football squad, "Fondle My Footballs," in our league draft.  In the post entitled Fantasy Football?  I Take It More Seriously Than That, I boasted out my team about as badly as a drafter can.  I discussed my favorite picks, why I loved my defense, and rosterbated so hard I'm still chafing right now, seriously, just kidding.  LeSean McCoy this, Philip Rivers that.  "Greg Olsen at tight end?  What a steal," I thought.  Well, there I go thinking again...

With a 5-9 record and the second lowest "Points For" total, my team "Fondle My Footballs" fondled balls, alright.  As Jack Black says in Tropic Thunder, my team encapsulated the quote: "I'll cradle the balls… stroke the shaft… work the pipe… and swallow the gravy... Get it over here buddy let’s do this…"  It was a complete abomination of Fantasy Football strategy.  I started people I should have sat, I dropped people I should have kept.  All I can think of is Tom Cruise in Jerry McGuire, "I lost the number 1 draft pick the night before the draft!"

All in all, it was a terrible year.  I don't even know where to start.  Philip Rivers looked more like shot-putter than a quarterback and when he had that 4 interception game against the Broncos back on November 18th, I could have sworn I saw him look to the camera and say, "Fuck you, Morty."  It was terrible.  Oh, and do not even get me started on trading Wes Welker after three weeks.  I am a disgrace to the very essence of fantasy football.  Like I said, I finished with 5-9 record, in last place, but some how managed to make the most player moves (23) and most waiver wire acquisitions (14).  Talk about over thinking a straight 3-foot putt.

In that death-sentence post I made, I also happened to select my three favorite picks.  Wait until you get a load of this shit:

Favorite Pick #1:  Wes Welker, Wide Receiver, New England Patriots **TRADED**

Favorite Pick #2: LeSean McCoy, Running Back, Philadelphia Eagles **INJURED**

Favorite Pick #3: Pittsburgh Defense **DROPPED**

For any one out there who thought this post was too dramatic, you do not get it.  I hyped up something that not only was not very good, but finished two spots away from dead last.  I TRADED AWAY, DROPPED, AND LOST ANY PLAYER I LIKED OR HAD INTEREST IN.  C'MON MAN!  However, the one glimmer of pride in all of this is my manhood; it's still intact because at least I know I'm wrong and can admit it.  Most of you can't even do that.  I have a long off-season ahead of me and I believe I can come back and draft a solid team next year.  Lord knows, I'll need to if I do not want to keep donating $20 to a friend every year.

Until next time, good luck to all the teams that made the playoffs.  I need a beer.