As I woke up on this rainy Wednesday morning, I started it just like any other day. Got out of bed, took my morning deuce, shaved my nasty neck hair, and enjoyed a hot, pressurized shower. I did not set the fire alarm off in my apartment, though, so I thought today was going to be extra special. As I trailed down Highway 101 on my way to work, I was bouncing back and forth between my iPod and talk radio, as usual. Again, nothing different. Today was shaping up to be just another Wednesday, or "hump day," as I so lovingly refer to it. Once I got to the office, I toasted an everything bagel (by the way, when I think of everything, I expect irie to be in it, so maybe they should change that) and opened up my computer ready to take in the morning news.
North Korea launched a missile into Earth's orbit last night, major union setbacks took place in Michigan yesterday, and Paul McCartney is going front the reunited Nirvana at the 12.12.12 Concert tonight. Wait... what? I can deal with the cray-cray North Koreans and Union workers will align and restore order, but the bassist (and arguably third coolest member of The Beatles) is taking the place of Kurt Cobain for a one night special event? When I saw my buddy Stoye tweet about it I was a total non-believer. But, sure as shit, Stoye was right, or at least the rumors were beginning to swirl and it was not coming from a TMZ gossip blog. My main music blog www.pigeonsandplanes.com had updated some information on it and when I saw a couple local New York publications name drop Sir Paul and Dave Grohl jamming with former Nirvana bassist Krist Novoselic and former Nirvana guitarist/current Foo Fighters guitarist Pat Shmeer, I was in shock. Now, each rumor I have heard has also been accompanied with a statement along the lines of "Paul and Nirvana won't be playing any of Kurt's classics, but rather a new song recently composed through jam sessions." Oh, I feel so much better... NAAAAT!
Listen, I do not give a shit if Paul McCartney and Nirvana sat down and played Beethoven's 9th Symphony - it would not cut it. Do not get me wrong, The Beatles are some of the best to ever do it, but this is just not right. Everything The Beatles stood for: fame, women, musical technicality, top of the pops rock went and goes against everything Kurt Cobain and Nirvana set out to do. In fact, as much of The Beatles probably inspired the men of Nirvana at a young age, my bet is by the time those boys were 18 and looking for a ride out of suburbia and a case of beer, all they wanted to do was destroy the ideals created by that 60s free love and jam session bullshit. It is a rough way of looking it, but in the end it is probably true. I know Dave Grohl has great visions for grandiose rock performances (Foo Fighters jamming with Led Zeppelin, Grohl doing performing with Motorhead), but I think this is taking it too far. The first, and probably only, reunion performance Nirvana will EVER have is purportedly going to be with Paul McCartney (who also led the travesty band, Wings)? No, no, no. This is just not right.
So, now that all the bitching is over, I would like to present to you the 5 singers I would have put in front of Paul McCartney. I did not pick these because I think any one of them are more famous or more influential than Sir Paul, even though that might be true. I picked them because they would encapsulate the essence of Nirvana so much better than any Beatles member could ever do, minus Lennon. Melodic voices, smooth harmonies, and touching lyrics are what Paul McCartney does best and the snarling voice, distorted guitars, and painfully bleak and honest lyrics of Kurt Cobain are what should be represented. I feel these 5 would have done a better job.
5. Chris Cornell - Soundgarden, Audioslave, Temple of the Dog
A local Seattle grunger who came up around the same time as Kurt, Chris Cornell experienced a wide array of musical success with his first band Soundgarden, his Rage Against the Machine mega-group Audioslave, and a acoustic solo career. Cornell may have been the "pretty voice" of the grunge scene, but at least he had an appreciation of what happened during that time. You see, Seattle grunge was more about the music, it was the life all of the artists lived together underground.
4. Michael Stipe - R.E.M.
This is probably my wackiest choice, but Stipe is a perfect middle ground selection between McCartney and Kurt. With songs like "Everybody Hurts," "Losing My Religion," and "Man on the Moon," Stipe and R.E.M. are famous enough to recognized at a concert such as 12.12.12. Cobain has actually stated R.E.M. as a major influence and favorite band, as well. Of course, Cobain loved The Beatles, but R.E.M. became very well known right before the Seattle grunge scene took off. Stipe, while a alternative-pop rocker, sings with true conviction with lyrical content along the same lines of Nirvana's work: life, loss, religion, equality, and the pursuit to find green grass on the other side.
3. Lemmy Kilmister - Motorhead
Who would not want to see the lead singer of fuckin' Motorhead team up with the musicians of Nirvana? Like I said, Lemmy and Grohl have played together and are good drinking buddies, so the connection is already there. Lemmy sings with such a reckless abandon, as well, that he could probably get away with singing a classic Nirvana song such as "Sliver" or "Rape Me." Seeing Lemmy at the 12.12.12 concert in those famous boots, wearing that cowboy hat of his, and swigging from a bottle of Jack would be a sight for sore eyes; one I think every grunge/punk/rock fan would appreciate... Kurt would be smiling down on the evening. Beiber fans, not so much.
2. Eddie Vedder - Pearl Jam, Temple of the Dog
Now, I know what you Nirvana die-hards are thinking: Fuck Eddie Vedder and Fuck Pearl Jam. Many grungers believe PJ's 20 year career is responsible for breaking grunge into mainstream and site the disdain Kurt had for Eddie at one point. That all might be true, but fact of the matter is, grunge and punk broke at the beginning/middle of the 90s and that was not Pearl Jam's fault (it was not The Offspring's, Green Day's, or Rancid's fault either, the music is fucking good), it was inevitable. Also, Kurt and Eddie reconciled right before Kurt tragically took his own life, so people can drop the drama that Kurt hated Eddie until his dying day. That is not true. Eddie Vedder has carried the grunge spirit to new heights and I would have loved to see him pose as the Nirvana singer for one night and one night only.
1. Neil Young - Neil Young and Crazy Horse, Pearl Jam, titled "The Godfather of Grunge"
This has got to be the coolest and most obvious choice of them all. I mean, Neil Young is the "Godfather of Grunge," for Christ's sake. Neil Young and Crazy Horse are probably the single most important band to influence the grunge scene not only musically, but by image (flannel shirts), ideals (hippies with an edge), and overall human belief (we're in this together). Neil even tried to reach out Kurt before his suicide, letting him know that everyone in the scene, and across rock music, was there for him. Mr. Young has filled in for Eddie Vedder as the front-man for Pearl Jam, why not let Neil take over for Nirvana at the 12.12.12 concert? They would do a great rendition of Neil Young's "Fuckin' Up." Again, like Lemmy, Neil and Dave Grohl have a great friendship, the Foo Fighters having played Neil's Bridge School Benefit countless times.
So, there are my 5 musicians that I think would have been a better selection than Paul McCartney. Is Paul going to do fine? Sure. Is he the right guy for the job? I think not. Let me know what you think. Or if you even care.
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