Alright, I had to take a break from my business trip to get this off of my dick. I am in the middle of a conference this morning and we are told, as a collective group, to take a 20 minute break to stretch out our legs and refocus for the rest of the morning. As I step out into the hall I check e-mail, missed calls, unread texts, Twitter, and of course, I tap into Facebook. I am never on The Book long. Usually it's a quick check up on selfie-loving women, "I Think I Know More About Politics Than I Do" friends, and photos of food/quotes. But not even that shit can annoy me anymore!...maybe I subconsciously miss it?
Anyway, all of this narcisism has taken a backseat to some drinking game. Some stupid fucking drinking game where friends slam a 12 oz. of beer and challenge the next friend or group of friends to complete the challenge within 24 hours. The act must be recorded on video, posted on video, and another person must be nominated. This endless cycle of bullshit goes on and on and on until who the fuck knows and every "likes" it before scrolling further down their newsfeed. As most things do in the 21st Century, the game has evolved and kids (who are actually pretending to be young adults during the week) have grown bored of the beer and have opted to creative liquor options i.e. tequilla, bourbon, whiskey, etc.
Let me start by saying this: good for you, bro. You can drink a beer, you can take a shot, you can do whatever it is you do on video...and about 99% of these dipshits thinks it's funny. The other 1% drink regularly, have seen it before, and simply don't give a fuck. Awesome, you were in college. Great, you're still there. Fantastic, you had friends in college and you never graduated. Send a snapchat to all of your bros portraying your tiny, flaccid dick for all I care. Just please, SWEET JESUS, stop putting it out on the public domain. We've seen it, the video sucks, and you make Adele doing porn sound appealing.
You know what's going to happen one of these days? One of these days....... (dramatic effect) ....... One of these kids is going to down way too much liquor and kill themselves. They're not going to be able to post a video, no one will realize they're dead until a roomate or family member gets home, and then all this dick measuring will be put to rest. If a death has yet to happen from this, I'm shocked. And I don't want to sound like some perfect parental figure because you all know very well I am far from that. I'm just saying it's fucking lame. And it would be a fucking lame way to go out. Wouldn't you agree?
1 comment:
Adele doing porn would be hot.
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