For many rockers and Generation Xers, today is one of great grief. To many, April 5, 1994 still feels like yesterday and Kurt Cobain just left. For someone like me, a guy who quit the guitar after a few lessons and was only four when the 27 year old Nirvana front man took his own life, the idea of Kurt is what will last more than any actual memory of him.
Growing up in an affluent part of the Bay Area, the ideals of counter-culture, rebellion, and angst were seldom seen or heard. Catholicism was what surrounded the teachings of my youth and to step out of the preverbal "conformity line" was an unfathomable wrong-doing. Luckily, I had a couple of pretty hip parents who only limited my CD purchases to "anything without a parental advisory." See, the funny thing about that limitation was, any band on an indie label or any band who felt so strongly against parental advisory did not need to sensor themselves. HeHeHe...
By the time I was in the sixth grade I had influences that ranged from extended family members, kids in my class, and, most importantly, the chicks one and two grades above me. Junior high school is the time where you have no fucking clue what you're rebelling against, you're just doing it to hopefully make out with somebody. However, through all the petty bullshit of tee-pee parties and movie theatre sneak-ins, there was one form of rebellion I took quite seriously and has stayed with me until this very day. Music.
Nirvana was heavy shit when I was 12. To be perfectly frank, I was more in tune with trying to borrow a Blink album or buying the New Found Glory catalogue at FYE. I couldn't understand the words in that one song about lights going out and asking to be entertained and I sure didn't turn up the radio in my Dad's car when Kurt would sing the words to "Rape Me." In fact, I imagine most of my friends who within my age group felt the same way. They may not admit it, but many kids were still listening to the Top 20 while a select group of friends I were scratching the surface of the alternative.
As I went through high school and college my musical interests expanded, but I always continued to dive deeper into the alternative rock and roll genre; tapping particularly into punk. It was then I started to notice the names of bands the iconic Nirvana frontman once wore on t-shirts. Black Flag, The Germs, Fugazi, Fear, DOA... All of these bands, while different in sound and geography, had one commonality: fuck off.
And it wasn't just punk, either. Citing major influences such as The Beatles, Neil Young, and Bob Dylan, at the time, this guy Kurt was pretty comfortable with basically saying, "Hey, we're a punk band with a grunge influence, but fuck you if you tell me I can't listen to music outside of my own genre." This value of self expression and lack of care for what people thought about it hit me at an early age.
Don't get too confused, though. Of course I like the music. I would not have looked into who Kurt Cobain was as a person or researched what his influences were if there was not at least a slight attraction to what he was creating. All I am saying is Nirvana, as a band, was not my all-time favorite. Kurt Cobain as a person, however, is someone the world will not ever forget.
Kurt Cobain was the Generation X version of The Beatles or The Rolling Stones or Chuck Barry or NWA. The world not seen someone like him for a long time when he arrived and we have yet to see someone like him since he left us. I would have loved to meet him. I would loved to let him know that his music and persona did not just touch the disenfranchised youth or the punks on the city streets. I would have told him that he inspired kids like me to step outside of the world they knew and face the fact that things are different, but so many people can come together and be the same.
Kurt Cobain was a legend. You don't need to listen to the music to know that. It just helps.
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